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January 14, 2020




What if I tell you that the everything we intend to do, or we simply do, is caused by only one reason. Maybe you won't believe me, or reject this argument on the very first stage, but this is the bitter fact. Every single action carried out by human beings, be it a trivial pursuit or a momentous triumph, every single activity is caused by only one thing, and that is, the happiness. We do one thing and abstain from other, precisely because we want to be happy, nothing else. Maybe a zealot religious devotee pops out from somewhere, shouting out, that his deeds are only for God, not for his own happiness, but the truth won't change, even if you change the way of narration. The black is black, even if you wrap it in blue.

As I have already emphasized in the first paragraph, that it is the happiness, which accounts for all of our actions, let's explore this fact through examples and some analysis.

Everyone has some ambitions in his life. Someone aspires to be a doctor, other yearns to be an engineer, and may be the third person draws a bead on the software development. Just take a pause and think, that why those people seek to attain these certain goals. Does these goals have some peculiarities, so they entice these people, or the motives are something ulterior. So take a step ahead and ask them, why do you want to be so and so, or this and that? They will definitely reply that they want to do these particular things. Ask again, “why do you want to do these particular things?”. Here comes the turning point. They will tell you that it makes them happy. Yes…! You got your answer, but there are enormous chances that someone will tell you that he wants to be a software engineer, because he needs money. When you ask him, so it's money that makes you happy? Maybe you will get the answer in yes, or maybe he will spun a story that his mother is suffering from cancer, and he wants her to go through proper treatment. So you're telling me that if your mom is cured, it will make you happy? No way to dodge you this time. You will  definitely get the answer in positive, that all of it was just to to attain happiness.

You might have noticed that those three people had three aims or goals, which they think of, that they will lead them to the happiness. This difference in the goals gives us the idea of “stimulators of happiness”. Happiness is an abstract, intangible subjective reality, but its stimulators are both objectives and subjectives, as they vary from person to person, and situation to situation. People whom we call greedy and insatiables are the best examples of those who are affected by objective stimulators, on the other hand people who indulge with spirituality are finest examples of those who are affected by subjective stimulators.

As stimulators of happiness may vary from person to person, so their effect is. If we agree upon to measure the happiness with a scale of from level one to level ten, then it will be much easier to understand it, the effect of happiness and the effect of our goals which we accomplish in our lives. As everyone has only one purpose in his life, which is happiness, then why not we understand it through someone's life story.

Suppose a child named John, is born. The infant John loves to suck milk. If he gets milk, he is happy, and if he doesn't, he cries. Then he grows up, and now he wants toys. He also needs milk, but milk doesn't make him happy now, but toys do. He grows up, and starts to go to school. Now, the toys don't make him happy, but he needs good marks in order to be happy. When he goes to college, he needs many more things to be happy, he wants a girlfriend, he wants a bike, and so and so. And now John thinks that when he will finish his studies, and find a job, he will be happy. He embarks on studying, and passes the final exams with good marks, and let's assume that he finds a job in a very prestigious company. Is John happy now? Yes he is, but this happiness will not last long, same as they the other happinesses which he achieved from his childhood till now. And now, John thinks that when he will be married to a decent girl, then he will be happy. Let's assume that he finds his girl, and marries her. Is John happy now? Yes he is, but this happiness is not last longer too. Now, John thinks that when he will have kids, he will be happy, and fortunately his wife gives birth to a healthy child. Is John happy now? Yes he is, but this happiness is not last longer too. And now John wishes that when his boy will grow up, it will make him happy. The boy grows up and John goes through toils and fatigue in order to make money for his child’s education and other necessities, so that he will be able to grows up as a good man. John’s son grows up as a handsome lad having admirable moral values, with a degree from a prestigious university. Is John happy now? Yes, but this happiness won't last long as previous experiences. Now John thinks that when his son will get married, it will make him happy, and so he does. Is he happy now? Yes but it fades as usual, and he aspires for more, like his grandchildren, then their lives, and so cycle goes on round.

In the story you read above, that the stimulators change frequently whenever we accomplish one thing, and the levels of stimulators change too. But the level of happiness doesn't change. If John enjoys 6th level of happiness when he gets milk, when he was a toddler, he will enjoy the same level of happiness when he enjoys a palatable dinner at his home, I mean the 6th level of happiness. So the stimulator translated from milk to chicken, but the level is same in both of the conditions, 6th level out of 10. If John get promotion to the post of assistant manager, suppose that the level of happiness goes to 8th level, but what if he get promotion after five years to the post of manager, will the level of the happiness will go up to 9th? No, it will be on 8th. But what if John was promoted to the post of manager directly, and not the assistant manager? Yes in this time the level of happiness, must have gone to the 9th level, as it was unexpected, this is the effect of situation mixed with stimulator.

But remember! We don't feel happy, because the stimulator has peculiar effects on us. No, but the happiness is solely our reaction to the stimulators, because the stimulators themselves, are abstract and have no effect. Let's understand it with an example. A man earning 10000 bucks per month and man who makes 100000 bucks per month. Both gets bonus of 10% of their income 1000 and 10000 respectively. What do you think? The man who got 10000 in bonus is happier than that who got only 1000? No, the bonus has lead them to the same level of happiness, because the extra amount they got will have the same impact on their minds, as both of them will think that he got 10% extra, and will have the impact of 10%, not 10000, or 1000. And now suppose a man, who is bust, and doesn't have a penny. What if you give him 100 bucks. Can you hypothesize the level of his happiness? Of course his level of the happiness will be higher than those who got 10000 and 1000 bucks, in bonus, even the amount he got, is only 100 bucks. The reason is the reaction against the certain stimulator. If you are used to a particular stimulators, it won't make you happy, like the person who always drinks water from water cooler. The chilled water won't make him feel something extraordinary, but take a person who lives in a village, deprived of electricity and its facilities. Give him a glass of chilled water and ask him, about his feelings, and then, you will realize the difference between the stimulator and the reaction of the person.

When you accomplish a particular stimulator, like earning 50000 bucks every month,  it becomes a usual thing to you, and this is why the feeling you had when you got your first salary, doesn't happen again again, because you are accustomed to it. And whenever you are accustomed to an stimulator, you don't react to it as it is something extraordinary, so it doesn't make feel as happy as it made you for the first time when you experienced that. But the stimulator which has no effect on you, may compel some another one to react in an unprecedented way, while you need an extra version of  stimulator to make you feel happy.

As we have discussed the stimulators, how people are affected and react to them, and we already come to the conclusion that the happiness is only our reaction towards different stimulators. But the problem of happiness is not yet unraveled, because the most critical question about happiness is yet to come. But before we discuss that, let's look into a situation.

We all agree that John was happy, when he got a job, but the question is that does this happiness last forever or just fades as the time passes? Why John got angry when he didn't find his socks in the next morning, when he was to set out for his office. Why John felt sad when his son suffered from fever on the next sunday? Why is he not happy forever? Why does he gets angry and sad, if we agreed upon that the job made him happy. What kind of happiness is that? Why do we try to pursuit this transitory happiness which can hardly breathe for some hours or some days. You may chime in and say that the happiness which John achieved when he got the job is always with him, as the John's life has been better than before. But this is not the fact. A better life doesn't give you more happiness, rather it makes the small stimulators incompetent, and compels you to acquire extra level of stimulators in order to be happy. The job didn't level up John's happiness, but it elevated the level of stimulators.

If this is the essence of the story, that our accomplishments doesn't make us happy, but rather they make the happiness more far from our reach, as they lift up the stimulators, then, why do we exert ourselves to chase our goals?

The reason of our happiness and suffering is only our craving. Craving is internalized in human nature, we crave to have what that gives us pleasure, and we crave to abstain from what that causes us pain. In order to achieve what that pleases us, we make efforts to achieve the stimulators which lead us to experience pleasure, and we want the stimulators, of pain and grief to stay clear of us. When we acquire the stimulators of level one, we enjoy it, and then we turn our eyes to the level two, as we have already enjoyed the stimulators of level, then level three, four and so on and so forth. But the level of happiness doesn't change according to the level of stimulators. If someone has not yet tried,  the level two of stimulators he may react to it with a level seven of happiness, and the one who is already accustomed with the level four of stimulators, is likely to react to it, with the level three of happiness, as we have seen before that the same 100 bucks can turn out to be a cause of immense pleasure for someone, and can be just as nothing for some another one, as the reaction to the stimulators differ from person to person and situation to situation.

This the whole story, of happiness, nothing else. But a person who is a zealot religious devotee may tell you, that what he wants is only to make his God happy, not himself, and that he is not even interested in this mundane happiness. Never let him mislead you with his bombastic and exaggerated way of narration. Just ask him a simple question, “ why do you want to make your God happy with you religious deeds?”...
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January 14, 2020




It is a common phenomenon or say, it's human nature to have different stands towards different issues. Feminism is not an exception and something out of ordinary. Our society has different views about this movement. You will can easily find people who oppose feminism and those who reject it.

But the feminism we are about to discuss in this article is not the feminism we read in the books, and study in our classes. It's is some kind of different feminism and very much familiar to us. I am talking about the feminism as it is being portrayed in movies.

Just before we start talking about it, let's have a glimpse of the feminist movement. Feminist movement was erupted against the patriarchal society, which have long oppressed the half of its population. We don't have enough time to cover the objectives and goal of this movement all and sundry. You can easily access to it by merely pressing some buttons on your smartphone or laptop. But just carry in your mind that, this movement was begun to empower women, to rescue from the tyranny of patriarchal society, to provide them equal rights and equal status in the society, and to enable to accomplish their ambitions. These are the key objectives of feminist movement.

But the Bollywood, has its own definition of feminism which doesn't match with the theoretical feminism by any chance. With exception of some movies, the rest portray feminism as it is all about lust, carnal appetites, and abusive languages. At least every single thing you contemplate that to be wrong is being produced in theses so called, feminist movies, on the name of feminism. For instance, go through the movie, named “Veere Di Wedding”, which is proclaimed to be a feminist movie. If you have already have some knowledge of feminism, you will be astounded to see that there is no feminism at all, but rather it's a story of lust and some deviated and disgusting girls.

I am not legitimizing these kind of absurd and obnoxious things for men, apart from women. Smoking is a injurious not for women only, but for men too. I am not against smoking because she is a woman, but because the smoking itself is, ridiculous, and it's you, who is legalizing it, on the name of feminism. Use of foul languages can't be appreciated, neither for men, nor for women, but if it's being legalized on the name of feminism, then I am against that silly feminism.

A movement which has a long last good impact on our society, can't be destroyed like it. This kind of things are happening, just because of a few people, who can cross any limits, and go beyond and boundaries to add some extra coins to their pockets, no matter if they are ruining the society and making up side down, by prevailing blatant lies.
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January 14, 2020





It is said that movies are shaped by our society, but it's true that they shaped our society too. Both determine each other, they shape each other and influence each other. And as the people nowadays, prefer to watch movies rather than going through  any other literary form, so we can say, that the influence of movies on the structure of our society has grown largely in the passing decades. At least everyone goes for movies, but a few people intend to read books. As the movies have the great impact on our society, it's a burning question that, the movies we watch are healthy or not. Entertainment is just another thing. It's true that the spectators buy tickets only for entertainment, but the fact that when you move back to your home, you don't carry, only the pleasure of being entertained, but an impact of the story you recently watched, is already internalized in your subconscious. The people you come across in your daily life, affect you with their negative or positive attitude, then how can you contemplate that the movies, which are a genre of literature, will not have any impact on you.


At this time, the question of watching healthy cinema adds more importance to its credit. But when we turn our eyes to the Indian cinema, it feels like they only want to add more havoc to our society, and they are only interested to drag disasters upon it. I admit that there still some cozy oases in this  dismal and dreary desert, but most of are repulsive and awful. Most of the action movies give a feeling that the India where the story happens has nothing to do with the India, where we live. The protagonist kills people, but there is no police to arrest him, and no law to put him behind the bars. He roam freely, robs, kills, but no action is carried out against him.


The most important part of these kind of movies is, the way they end. Mostly the end use to be the same. The protagonist kills the antagonist, or at least punish him, and so the movie ends. But the question is, that, is it good, and is it a happy ending? You can come across people talking about that these kind of movies portray the victory of truth over evil. But the question is that is it the optimal way to achieve this victory. I don't think so. The country where we live has a law and a pure system of Justice. Aren't you making up the mind to choose this nasty way to achieve Justice, rather than the way introduced by our law. If you're very frequent to watch action movies, you must have come across, dialogues like, “ In this country, if you want Justice, you have to take it yourself, otherwise you won't get as the system is corrupt, and the courts are already full of pending cases”, or the protagonist shouts out, “ Now! The Justice will happen on the road”. This kind of dialogues are somehow tempting our society  to take Justice by themselves, not through the proper procedure of courts. Mob lynchings can be observed as a best example of it. And somehow, the contribution of our system to help this kind of dialogues to turn out to be true, can't be denied.
I will not talk about the every single evil of contemporary cinema, as it is not possible to summarize it in this tiny piece of writing, but I would like to put up examples to help you to understand. So let's move forward to the next and last example.


Just before we talk, cast an eye on the definition of feminism, and its goals, and then do watch a feminist movie like “ Veere di Wedding”. You will come upon that this kind of movies have nothing to do with feminism, as they proclaim. Because feminism is not about smoking, heavy drinking, and  carnal appetites. Feminism is about freedom, but it doesn't encourage to use abusive languages. This kind of thing have not been appreciated, whether it's a man or a woman. But just to pull out money from pockets, they do everything, on the name of feminism, it doesn't matter if it's ugly and mean.
The cinema nowadays has confined it's focus on just money making. They don't care if they are demolishing the walls of morality in order to drive the society to the abyss.
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January 14, 2020


On 20 January 1600, Pope Clement VIII declared Giordano Bruno -an Italian mathematician, poet and cosmological theorist-  a heretic and the Inquisition issued a sentence of death. On Wednesday, February 1600, in the Campo de' Fiori (a central Roman market square), he was hung upside down naked, before he was finally burned at the stake. His ashes were thrown into the Tiber river. The charges made against Bruno by the Roman Inquisition was to hold opinions contrary to the Catholic faith.

When you read the lines above, you must have felt a chill running through your spines. You must have thought of it to be malicious to burn someone solely because he holds a different opinion and faith. But haven't you wondered about  the people who issued the death sentence. Do you think that they would have been regretted after the verdict? and they would have felt remorse for poor Giordano Bruno? If this is what you have been supposing, then you must be a naïve. Let me explain for you. The jury must have gone to their homes, after  decreeing the death verdict for our fellow. They drunk vintage wines, and had a great night with their family, for it was time to celebrate, because they have executed a person who was an imminent peril to the society, and he might have turned out to be a hazard to the religion. No regret at all. Just sentiments of gladness.

Shocking? Yes it is! But the reason is very simple. The jury had a firm belief that the religion they have embraced is the ultimate truth, and every single idea, perception and belief except it, is false and a threat to human beings, as it will drag upon them the commination of God. So just before this catastrophe happens, we must put this pariah to death, in order to save the humanity. This kind of beliefs are much frequent in our society hitherto. People usually believe what their religion, their society and their families believe in. If anyone goes against that particular established order and belief, they boycott him, as they can't kill him just because the modern fabrication of social laws doesn't allow it. We can assume that if we would have been in the old times, we had enough chances to observe of all of it happening through our unaided eyes. Just for a moment, recall the persecution of of Buddhists in India which took place in the 2nd century BC by King Pushyamitra, persecution of Christians in 64 and 313 AD, in Rome by Nero Caesar and Edict of Milan respectively, and recently the persecution of Muslims in Myanmar. Go through the history, and you will come upon a bunch of examples of this kind of persecution. If you will generalize these  persecutions, the result will be shocking. You will see that at least each religion has tormented its rivals, and at least each religion has been tormented by its rival too. And the reason is simple only one. They hate others, because they believed that their religion is the ultimate truth, and the rival religion is just a heap of stinking dung, which must be wiped out of the world, where humanity is residing. Everyone thought only their religion has the ultimate solution for the impending doom of the human beings. Everyone must embrace their particular religion,and follow their established rules. The one who don't believe will be persecuted, because they won't allow him to infect others with this fatal epidemic.

The example I have put up above, are of universal nature and of bigger canvases. But the same problem of belief, in self completeness causes chaos in our individual and social lives. Father has dispute with his son, and son is grappling with his father. Both of them think that the truth is in his side. The same goes for each and every contention. Be it as larger as universal scale like religious and ethnic conflicts, or be it as small as an altercation between two people of different ideas. Here rises a question. why does it all happen? What accounts for all of it?

The reason of all the phenomena, we discussed above is only one. Let's embark on the arduous quest of the answer. When we analyse the examples given above, we come across that almost in all major genocide of the human beings, the upper class was involved. You can't make  excuse that they lacked education, because they acquired the best available knowledge of their times. They were mighty kings and significant priests. Despite of this all, they waged war against their opponent religions. The reason was that they believe in the supremacy of their ideas, and this belief stemmed from looking into the alternative pictures of same realities.  Let me explain it.

Think of a man, who was born to a Christian family. He was brought up, with a huge Christian dogmatic effects on him, from his parents side. They inscribed on his mind that Jesus Christ was the son of god, who was crucified in repentance for the human sins. And one who embraces Christianity will be having a particular and special place in paradise, otherwise he will cry and yell in the blazing hell and will be roasted at stakes like a chopped chicken. He believes in all of it. When he attends the preachings of the priest in the church, as he holds him to be the highest learned man in his village or town, he finds out that the priest himself is repeating the same things which his parents taught him, but in a more elaborated and logical way. His imagination of Jesus Christ to be the son of God now, takes form of a firm religious belief. And now he is curious to explore more about Christ and Christianity. He goes to the library and browses religious books. And surprisingly he comes across the same things which he heard from the priest, and was taught by his parents. He looks around him and noticed that his loved ones, like his uncle, aunt, cousins,the school teacher and so on and so forth, all of them believe in the same things which he found out in the big volumes written by the great minds of both ancient and medieval eras, heard from the priest who is likely to be the most enlightened person he met in his whole life, what he found his loved ones believing in, as they are they are his dearest ones, and of course what he was taught by parents who are the people who take care of him more than anyone in this universe. After going through all of this pictures, he concludes that Christianity is the best religion, and Jesus Christ was crucified to purify the people who will embrace his message. Determining that, our fellow will easily reject any dissenting opinion and different idea, which goes against his belief, precisely because he thinks that he has enough empirical and theoretical evidences to believe the Christianity to be the one only truth, and he holds it as a final word for human life, and he has firm belief, that he must make each and everyone follow this particular truth, in every way possible, by preaching, by debating, and on the gun point if there is no one to strangle him back. Not because he hates another people who don't believe in Christianity, but just because he thinks of them to be foolish if they don't do so, and as a yellow peril to his religion.

Our fellow is unlikely to give up, because as he asserts, he has enough reasons to believe in Christianity. The parents, the priest, the teacher, the books, the relatives, and the surroundings. Each and everyone was Christian. They love him, and it is utmost unlikely that they lied to him. What that is true of our fellow, is also true of us. We believe in what our parents taught us. What we heard the priest talking about, what we learned in the religious books, what our relatives believe in. And all of us think we have enough theoretical evidences to believe in a particular religion or idea, and hold him as  the ultimate truth, and final solution for all problems. And he won't regret if he does something obnoxious in order to establish his idea in people's minds.

Why do we do so? Is it true to say that our fellow has enough theoretical and empirical evidences. I think it's not as simple and as true as he takes it to be. The reason behind all of it is, that our fellow has gone through the alternative pictures of an ideology. His parents, his relatives, his teacher, and again the priest, and the books, everyone is an alternative picture on reality, which is of course Christianity. All of them represent the same idea. They're different in their structures, they have different way of narration, but all of them have the same story to tell. It is just like you searched on Google to show you the images of USA, clicked enter and Google put before you, a bunch of pictures from USA. Skyscrapers, well-dressed people, the president as the champion of liberty and Human rights, clean and well maintained roads. All this images will create in your mind that the US is the same as Google showed you, but the reality doesn't match it. There are slum areas in USA, like India, there are poor people too, and of course US president is not a champions of liberty and freedom, as it shows. It is called the alternative pictures of one reality. If someone wants you to believe in a particular idea, he will show you  alternative pictures which represent that very idea. Just like it happened to you while browsing pictures of USA.

When we look one reality in the different pictures, we holds that very reality to be universal, as it happens mostly, with people who follow a particular religion. The major side effect of this kind of beliefs is, that the believer loses his ability to criticize and analyse. He becomes blind-folded believer, and he always takes  defending position against every different idea. His belief urges him to reject any dissenting idea, in every way possible, and defend his own ideology with utmost effort, it doesn't matter, if it seems like stupidness even to him.
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January 14, 2020




"I reject any dissenting idea, without giving it a damn, because if I believe that my  ideology is true, why to squander my time, to analyse it. I must spend this time to meditate, to attain the deepest wisdom of my religion."


Hey! It's me, Mr. Sheeple. Just before we start talking, Let me clarify, that I don't give a damn, whether you are right or wrong, precisely because I believe that I am always right. It may seem like something odd to you, because you think that our mind should be in flux, and we must open our minds to new ideas. But I don't think so. I have already locked my mind in the narrow cell of my cranium, safe and sound. I can't let it, like you people, roam in the dreary desert of ideas. Don't stare at me, like I don't have any ideology. Yes I have! But I think that one is enough. You can call a monogamist in this sense. Anyway, I believe that one idea is enough to believe in, and we must be sincere and honest to it. We should not look at other ideas and perceptions, even they are gorgeous and charming. I can't believe that how can people, put the ideas they inherited from their forefathers, in rubbish pail, and they become convinced by new and modern ideas, which are such strangers. Don't you think of it to be rubbish?

We must adhere to ideas of our family, society and religion. We must locomote only in the space provided by ancestors, as we are obligated to keep track of their footsteps, no matter, to which direction they are leading us. We ought to follow them blindly, because they can't be wrong, and they can't lead us astray. How do you to contemplate that the ideas based on the empirical information gathered by our forebears, through the long span of thousands of years, are wrong, and the ideas you developed in this short duration of five - four hundred years, or in the last century, are likely to be right. Don't you think that  it somehow sounds like silly, Ah?

I don't  consider modern researches to be true if it goes against my ideology. But I am free to use it as a reference to the truth of my ideology, for my ideology is the ultimate truth. You can put up questions against it. You may think that I am on the wrong side of the way. You  go through the annals and chronicles, to find enough proofs, to prove me wrong. You look into the momentous volume of books, to grind out enough reasons to prove my ideas to be erroneous. But Hey! Haven't I told you earlier, that I don't give a damn to any reason, proof, and information? I will reject all of them, and I will proudly announce that the only idea which is correct, is the idea, which I believe in.

If you think that I am all alone of my kind, then you must be living in your paracosm. The most of the people are like me. We have developed our own categories. The famous and dominant category is called religion. This category has managed to thrive more than any other category. I also belong to this category. This category developed its own sub-categories, which you know with the different names of different religions. But there is one thing common among us. And that is that we don't give a damn to what you think, what you believe, and what you say. We don't care about the progress in civilization and humanity. Yes! Seriously we don't care. We respect our scriptures only. If it says to you kill you, we will do it, no matter you are innocent or not. If it says that women are not equal to men, we apply it literally in our society, no matter your good-for-nothing science is freaking out in its laboratory that it found no difference between men and women in its recent experiment. We believe that women are second humans, because our holy and true scripture says that. If our scripture says that something is prohibited, we refrain from it, no matter it is valuable, and if our scripture says that something is obligatory, we perform it, no matter it is vicious. We can accept that humans are different, and we have to treat them accordingly, precisely because our scripture says that. But we can't believe on our eyes, when we observe that every human being is equal in its structure.

I would like to repeat again, that I the only thing I believe that to be true is my own ideology.  inasmuch it's the only true ideology, I reject any dissenting idea, without giving it a damn, because if I believe that my  ideology is true, why to squander my time, to analyse it. I must spend this time to meditate, to attain the deepest wisdom of my religion. This is why, I am proud to be a blind-folded follower. I am proud to be Mr. Sheeple.
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January 14, 2020






"Everyone has cooked up different reasons which he thought, that it accounted for his sucide, but maybe he couldn't bear the truth that he lost his legs in vain."




He was a former soldier, who was dismissed from army when he lost his both legs in a gory war. He lives all alone in his house, isolated and obscured. No one pays visit to him, but only a lady who comes to do household chores. And he, concentrated in his wheelchair, flies in the world of fantasies. His eyes were black and deep, but look like a lake devoid of water. Deep and dark, having not a vial emotional spark. His skin was fair with constant creases in his forehead. Sitting in a wheelchair, in his balcony, staring on the road, he always thinks about himself. The days when he was a soldier, full of sound and fury.
“Those days were the best, the epitome of my life.”, He murmured, and felt proud to visualise the days he served in the service of his nation. And this feeling of having sacrificed his legs, in service of his nation, put spurs on him to live, and the picture of people of his town, cheering for him, when he returned from the battlefield, as a cripple, provides fuel for the engine of his life. But that was not an enduring condition, because times and again, a very malignant thought nags his mind. And at that time, breathing once more, in this world, becomes an uphill task for him. Whenever he is struck by this thought, he feels like something has sucked out the meanings of his life, and he has no choice, but to end this life of suffering, which is more like a hell.

Every time, this thought penetrates the shield of his mind, he tosses it out. But it is doomed that man yields after a specific time, and yes, for him, it was today. This time, he didn't resist, and let that malignant thought put its galley in the stream of his consciousness. And soon he started floating with it too. The proud to worship his nation, with the offering of his legs, dismantled tardily, and evaporated. And soon that sly thought entrapped his mind, and the people cheering for him, on his return from the battlefield, scattered away. There was only him, and his crippled physical structure.
“Why did you lose your legs?”, a whisper struck his eardrums.
He wanted to outcry that it was for his nation, but he couldn't. His lips were in dither, and then they froze. But this time, he himself asked, “ why this suffering? Why did I lose my legs?”,
“For nation?”
“Yes” … the reactionary part of the brain, screamed.
“No.” He himself asserted, “nation was built to serve me, I was not born to serve the nation, we created nation, nation didn't create us, then how did we come to serve our own serf?, Did the nation ever told me, to fight for it? … of course not… then who did?”
“The supreme beings of our nation, the cowards who are the lords of this country, hiding in their caverns, urging others to sacrifice for nation.”
“Maybe”, he nodded his head.

Slowly, a picture appeared in his mind. He was standing in the row with his fellow soldiers, and  the colonel was giving his fierce and ferocious speech. “Boys! This is the time to do something for you, and for nation. This the time which gives you a chance to engrave your names on the annals of history. Go and let the world bow down before your courage, because only you can make this world a better place”. Those were not the words, but rather whips used by cavalries to compel the horses to scurry. He himself was brandishing his gun, with other soldiers, but someone in himself was sizzling inside him, that was something he couldn't understand.

He returned back to his normal situation. The picture of colonel and fellow soldiers brandishing their arms, faded away. The whisper hissed in his ears again. “Don't you think that the colonel of enemies must have  deceived his soldiers with the same words. Both armies, were fighting to obliterate each other, because both of them consider each other to be a threat to humanity.”
“No it was our side, which stands on true values.”
“You can assume it, to relieve your agony. But the truth is that, both of you were fighting for an imagined entity. Both of you were in deception. But you won't admit it, because you are afraid of admitting that you lost your legs in vain.” The whisper became a taunting and deafening laughter, as he inserted his fingers in ears. But that was the sound of inner instinct, which can not be ceased. The sound kept rising until his mind started buzzing, he lost his control over mind, and mind itself lost it control. Each and every thought started flying away, and the surface of the mind, became clean and clear. And then a picture appeared from the vast horizon. The picture grew bigger and bigger, and soon it covered the whole surface of his mind. He found himself shooting and moving forward. Soon he reached close to one of the soldiers from the opposite side, who was busy in shooting to other side. He pointed his gun to him, and he was about to release the trigger, but a bomb befell and exploded. The last thing he heard was the cry and yell of the soldier, whom he was about to shoot. The moment was  life-changing, and he can not forget that, for years on end. He again felt proud for himself. The idea of making a sacrifice for his nation started replacing the picture of the battlefield. But the whisper struck to his eardrums on again.
“Have you noticed something important?”
“Yes! My sacrifice for my nation!”
“Not this false imagination, I am talking about something else, something real.”
“What's that?”
“Didn't you notice the cry of your enemy?”
“Yes! But what is special about that?, Everyone cries. I cried too, when the bomb exploded.”
“Yes! This is what I meant. Haven't you noticed the way he cried? He didn't cry like an enemy, he cried like a human being. Words might be different, tone might be different, language might be different. But there was something common, humanity. You both cried like a human. Then why this war, if both of you were humans. You are , a human and the man whom you were going to kill, was a human too. Don't you think that the entities which both of you created to serve the humans, has no right to put you in its service. You have to admit that you lost your legs for an imagined entity, which doesn't have a vial soul. It never demanded anything, but the people who run it, had demands to fulfill, and they used you, just to retain their sway on a particular part of land. What was your sacrifice for? For humanity, or precisely to fulfill someone's desire?”. The whisper slowly submerged in the chaos emerging from the every corner of mind.

Next morning, his left hand, hanging out of the wheelchair has already poured all of his blood on the floor, through the cut, he made on the wrist last night. His flint like eyes were wide and open, to see if there was someone, from his nation and his country. But no, there was humans, mourning on the death of a human, as humans do everywhere, irrespective of borders, countries, races, and nations. Everyone has cooked up different reasons which he thought, that it accounted for his suicide, but maybe he couldn't bear the truth that he lost his legs in vain.

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January 14, 2020




" I wanted my freedom, and he wanted more than his freedom, he wanted what that didn't belong to him. And one who wants more than his freedom, must be punished."


I met Shweta for the first time, in college's reading room. A girl with long hairs, and olive colour, was sitting in the corner putting his head in a book of dreary philosophy. As not a single seat was there except in her side, so I headed towards her, put my bag on the table, slide the chair back, and thrust myself between its arms. She raised her head, cast an eye on me, and again started reading. I noticed that her eyes were deep and look like an ocean has shrunk into them. Soon we introduced ourselves, and I don't know  when this introduction turned into a strong bond of friendship. We used to sit and have interesting discussion on various philosophical sects and theories. And of course she was good at it.
On the occasion of  last Eid, I heard someone beating the door, while I was sleeping in my room. When I unlocked it, I was surprised to see Shweta, standing at my door. She entered in the room , threw her backpack on my bed, and said, “ hey I heard that you are not leaving for your home this Eid, why?”
“ My family is not at home, so.”
“Ohhh”.
“Hmmm! But Shweta! You never go to your home.”
“Yes! I don't.”
“But why?”
“Precisely because I don't have a home.”
“What rubbish! How can you say that?” Laughingly I said.
“ Ohhh! Its true.”
“Then who sends money for you then?”
“There is an NGO”
“ What?... You never told me about it”
“ Because you never asked”, she said with a mysterious smile on her lips.
But it was an astounding disclosure for me. I asked her in surprise, “ how did it happen?”
She replied that she was in a shelter home, when the NGO offered him scholarship to start her schooling and then, for her graduation, and then for masters.
“But how did you end up to a shelter home?”, I asked.”
“ Because I absconded from my home”.
“But why?”
And then there was a something very painful in her obscure and dreamy eyes. She breathed heavily and started gazing at the roof. I was silent and constantly looking at her in amazement with my open eyes, fixed on her face. She remained silent for a while, and then then I saw her lips in dither. She wanted to speak up something, but she couldn't. She was shivering and her leg was trembling under her.
I gave him a glass of water and said, “ Don't you know about your family, or is it something very distressing?”
She looked at me, and said, “ Well, listen! Here is my story, I never told anyone about it.” And then what she said was just something I couldn't even imagine.
“ When I got consciousness, I found myself doing trivial household chores of the Pardhan of our village. I grew up inhaling the aroma of delicious dishes, but consuming the unpalatable things, with the addition of extra maltreatment with slaps and whacks of Pardhan and his whole family. I never knew what is compassion and what is love. All I experienced in my childhood was just oppression. I was barely twelve years old, when I was married to a thirty years widower, whose wife had died last month. He was cruel, brute, drunken and a lascivious cad. I was shipped to him like goods. Not a single person was there to ask my consent as it is a common phenomenon in any patriarchal society. The first night was something which Is can't scrub it out of mind. Whenever I remember that, the chill runs down in my spine. And what that happened first night was repeated every night. Every single night, I had to go through that pain and suffer that emotional distress. When my body used to be devastated by working from morning till evening, it was being exploited along with my soul in the night. And when I reached to the age of fifteen, I had already have two miscarriages. The wrenches which were afflicting my soul were just unbearable.

It was the fall of summer when I tried for the first time to get rid of all of this miserable life . I tried to flee from that village to the nearby city. I don't know who informed my husband, and he caught me up in the midway,  dragged me back to the home, and beat me up. On that day I had lived with death breathing right in my face…I was exhausted and just fell on my feet. He put me on bed and didn't stop that night either. It was malignant and obnoxious. The last bit of patience which I had was sucked out. And I didn't have but a burning temper tantrum inside me. A hell of agony which was about to burst out. But I calmed myself and determined to do something which were strange for my delicate fingers but I had to do that in order to end this misery and torment.  Two weeks later when I recovered, I started to wave my trap. It was a local festival that night, and my husband was drunk excessively. He returned home, did with me what he was used to, and then started snoring, laying on the bed. I was just yearning for this moment.
I took out the knife, which I have been honing for the last one week, looked at his face, which has never been as ugly as it was looking right now. And at the next moment he was grunting like a hog. The blood jetting out of his sliced throat was compensating me for that immense pleasure which I lacked in my life until now. Then I left that place forever. And took shelter at a shelter home. They gave me a new name and a new life.
Looking at her in amazement, I had many questions nagging my mind, but her last word still buzz in my  ears, “ I wanted my freedom, and he wanted more than his freedom, he wanted what that didn't belong to him. And one who wants more than his freedom, must be punished. I did what I felt to be good, because that was the only way to let the good happen, and whenever something good happens, it causes pain, and so, I did, and I don't feel sorry for it.”


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